Annoying Feet
Boy Canerican is not well known for his ability to sleep. On a recent vacation to Mickey's Magic Kingdom (where you hurry up to wait and eat quintessentially overpriced American food) we had an overnight incident we will never forget.
First, a justification for visiting never-going-to-do-this-within-a-budget land. Our relocation from Canada to the US was a well thought out oiled machine. Every step was crafted with precise intention, risk assessments and contingency plans (some of which we had to use, but we will talk about that another time). Once the project plan was executed, and all the hurdles surpassed, there was nothing left to do but be present. Launch complete... what now? To be honest, I wasn't prepared to feel so alone. We had missed documenting the step "find friends and a sense of belonging".
If you were to delve into my Google search history from a few years ago you would find all sorts of fun stuff. Here's a few memories - colored for your entertainment. Perhaps I will later link these to other posts that tell the story...
However, Mr. Canerican is a social butterfly. After a few weeks of hanging around Boy Canerican's school he'd found some people he liked well enough to introduce me to them. This is when I found out that there's something else that no one tells you about California. I call it "the Californian approach", more generally known as "hugging". Personal space is important to me. Before we moved to California, outside of my immediate family, I hugged an average of 2 people per year. Yes 2, they were probably the maid of honor from my wedding, or her parents or sisters, or maybe those one or 2 Ultimate players from home who insisted on hugging me after that one time I hugged them when I was drunk.
After some forced socialization I managed to let my guard down enough to find some friends, I'll tell you more about them in some future posts. For today, just know that a couple years in now I can't imagine living without them. So, why did we go on this vacation? Because our friends said "Hey, we're going to Disneyland for my birthday and for our daughter's Christmas gift and you should come". These friends are honest, sincere, and really effing fun to hang out with. That was 3 days before they were going, prices for tickets were dirt cheap (SoCal resident sale $60 1 park per day passes), and the weather looked great so we packed up and shipped out.
This trip consisted of two nights and three days. Drive in early, park all day, sleep, park all day, sleep, park all day, drive home late. On the second night, Boy Canerican woke up at approx 3am. He was sleeping with me in a queen bed. It went something like this.
Boy: groan... writhing... grown... huff... kick... kick...
Me: WTF is going on
Boy: huff... kick... kick... dying frog noises
Me: Do you need something?
Boy: HOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT
Me: Take off your shirt
Boy: (Takes off shirt) but I don't WANT TO BE WITHOUT A SHIRT
Me: Uh
Boy: I'm HOOOOOTTTTT
Me: (Attempts to start air conditioner and opens door to hotel room)
Air Conditioner: Preparing for take off, grinding coffee
Boy: WHAT IS THAT NOOOOOOOOISE
Me: Air Conditioner
Boy: huff... kicking...
Me: (Closes door and stops air conditioner)
Me: I was trying to cool it down
Boy: NOOOO FEEET UGGGGGH
Me: Have a drink of water
Boy: NOOOO
Me: I'm going to sleep with Dad, you wanna pack up and head home?
Boy: groan... huff... kick... can I just get up now?
Me: OH GOD NO, go back to sleep, I'm going to sleep with Dad
Boy: HOOOTTTTTT
--Enter Dad--
Dad: What is wrong?
Boy: FEEEET HOOOOT groan
Dad: Uh, do you want me to rub them?
Boy: NOOOOO
Dad: What can I do to help?
Boy: SO BORED
Dad: What? bored? what's wrong with your feet?
Boy: ITCHY AND ANNOYING
Dad: Do you want me to rub them with lotion?
Boy: NOOOOOO, ANNOYING
Dad: Well, I can't cut them off
Boy: NOOOOOOO, GROAN (repeat x10)
Dad: Are you sure you don't want me to rub them?
Boy: NOOOO
Me: We're leaving in 10 minutes if you can't deal
Boy: ANNOYING FEEET
Me: Do you want me to rub them with lotion?
Boy: Yes.
--note: ok so at this point Dad offered to rub the feet no less than 3 times then somehow I become winner winner chicken dinner.
Me: Rubs feet
Boy: :| .... zzzz
On the happy memory side, the first day Boy and I were discussing the Castle. It was covered for maintenance.
Boy: Why is the castle covered?
Me: I think they are painting it.
Boy: Are they going to take it down?
Me: I don't think so they are just fixing it up to make it look nice again.
Boy: But you know... eventually they are going to tear it down.
Me: I don't think so... why would they do that?
Boy: They're going to tear it down and build something more majestic.
Me: Indeed perhaps they will.
First, a justification for visiting never-going-to-do-this-within-a-budget land. Our relocation from Canada to the US was a well thought out oiled machine. Every step was crafted with precise intention, risk assessments and contingency plans (some of which we had to use, but we will talk about that another time). Once the project plan was executed, and all the hurdles surpassed, there was nothing left to do but be present. Launch complete... what now? To be honest, I wasn't prepared to feel so alone. We had missed documenting the step "find friends and a sense of belonging".
If you were to delve into my Google search history from a few years ago you would find all sorts of fun stuff. Here's a few memories - colored for your entertainment. Perhaps I will later link these to other posts that tell the story...
- Overcoming homesickness for idiots
- Finding
Nemonew friends - Expatriates in California
- US credit building for dummies
- WTF is wrong with the California DMV?
- Is drinking alone bad for you? But how bad? Are you sure?
- What to do in California if you hate sand
- Why do I miss my family?
- Canadians coping with US medical system (ccwusms - you can say it like customs without the T)
- What is truancy? Seriously?
- Are family dance parties fueled by Lima-A-Rita normal?
- And from the Boy when he was 5 "How high does the border go, do we fly through the border? Why can't I talk at the border"
However, Mr. Canerican is a social butterfly. After a few weeks of hanging around Boy Canerican's school he'd found some people he liked well enough to introduce me to them. This is when I found out that there's something else that no one tells you about California. I call it "the Californian approach", more generally known as "hugging". Personal space is important to me. Before we moved to California, outside of my immediate family, I hugged an average of 2 people per year. Yes 2, they were probably the maid of honor from my wedding, or her parents or sisters, or maybe those one or 2 Ultimate players from home who insisted on hugging me after that one time I hugged them when I was drunk.
After some forced socialization I managed to let my guard down enough to find some friends, I'll tell you more about them in some future posts. For today, just know that a couple years in now I can't imagine living without them. So, why did we go on this vacation? Because our friends said "Hey, we're going to Disneyland for my birthday and for our daughter's Christmas gift and you should come". These friends are honest, sincere, and really effing fun to hang out with. That was 3 days before they were going, prices for tickets were dirt cheap (SoCal resident sale $60 1 park per day passes), and the weather looked great so we packed up and shipped out.
This trip consisted of two nights and three days. Drive in early, park all day, sleep, park all day, sleep, park all day, drive home late. On the second night, Boy Canerican woke up at approx 3am. He was sleeping with me in a queen bed. It went something like this.
Boy: groan... writhing... grown... huff... kick... kick...
Me: WTF is going on
Boy: huff... kick... kick... dying frog noises
Me: Do you need something?
Boy: HOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT
Me: Take off your shirt
Boy: (Takes off shirt) but I don't WANT TO BE WITHOUT A SHIRT
Me: Uh
Boy: I'm HOOOOOTTTTT
Me: (Attempts to start air conditioner and opens door to hotel room)
Air Conditioner: Preparing for take off, grinding coffee
Boy: WHAT IS THAT NOOOOOOOOISE
Me: Air Conditioner
Boy: huff... kicking...
Me: (Closes door and stops air conditioner)
Me: I was trying to cool it down
Boy: NOOOO FEEET UGGGGGH
Me: Have a drink of water
Boy: NOOOO
Me: I'm going to sleep with Dad, you wanna pack up and head home?
Boy: groan... huff... kick... can I just get up now?
Me: OH GOD NO, go back to sleep, I'm going to sleep with Dad
Boy: HOOOTTTTTT
--Enter Dad--
Dad: What is wrong?
Boy: FEEEET HOOOOT groan
Dad: Uh, do you want me to rub them?
Boy: NOOOOO
Dad: What can I do to help?
Boy: SO BORED
Dad: What? bored? what's wrong with your feet?
Boy: ITCHY AND ANNOYING
Dad: Do you want me to rub them with lotion?
Boy: NOOOOOO, ANNOYING
Dad: Well, I can't cut them off
Boy: NOOOOOOO, GROAN (repeat x10)
Dad: Are you sure you don't want me to rub them?
Boy: NOOOO
Me: We're leaving in 10 minutes if you can't deal
Boy: ANNOYING FEEET
Me: Do you want me to rub them with lotion?
Boy: Yes.
--note: ok so at this point Dad offered to rub the feet no less than 3 times then somehow I become winner winner chicken dinner.
Me: Rubs feet
Boy: :| .... zzzz
On the happy memory side, the first day Boy and I were discussing the Castle. It was covered for maintenance.
Boy: Why is the castle covered?
Me: I think they are painting it.
Boy: Are they going to take it down?
Me: I don't think so they are just fixing it up to make it look nice again.
Boy: But you know... eventually they are going to tear it down.
Me: I don't think so... why would they do that?
Boy: They're going to tear it down and build something more majestic.
Me: Indeed perhaps they will.
“Is drinking alone bad for you? But how bad? Are you sure?” This is amazing. I love you guys.
ReplyDeleteUmm....wow... cheers to your adventures from the Chubbs
ReplyDeleteGood read! Thanks for sharing, btw, I wonder how many boys love having mommy rub their feet -- mine do the same. I'm off to binge read the rest of your adventures.
ReplyDelete